Brain vs Body.

Can I make as much or become as successful from what I can create with my brain, as I would potentially if I were to show off my body?

That is a question I actually proposed to my husband recently.

His response was of course, right on brand for my Shermbot.

He reassured me that my brain is just as valuable, but honestly, even more valuable than my body.

I know he means that.

He has told me from day 1 that he loves my brain most of all.

My body, his attraction level to me, our physical relationship are all additional perks.

First and foremost, he loves my brain. I could be a zombie head, a-top a vase, rotting from the inside out

^This is a throw back reference to a really great Netflix show... does anyone else know it? We just finished the series recently and man was the ending disappointing!^

And this man would still love every single second with me.

I could picture him sitting on the floor directly in front of the vase that is on a table so he is eye level with me.

I could picture him, those beautiful light green, slightly hazel eyes starting deep into mine as we just talk.

It's our favorite thing to do.

Laying in my bed next to his at night with the lights off, getting ready to turn our brains off for the rest of the day, and just talking about our day, unpacking it, doing any needed check ins.

Essentially doing the homework our marriage requires at the end of the day to make sure we are each at our best for one another, makes me feel like a pre teen laying on my pre teen, best friends floor on her trundle bed discussing what we planned to name our daughters one day.

Neither of us are pre teen girls anymore (lol) but I still get that giddy, sleepover with my best friend feeling when I'm unpacking my day.

Because he loves my brain.

I think this is a good spot to at a note or caveat, or even just a general acknowledgement for my utterly scattered, ADHD, squirrel tangent moments. I try to keep them quick, concise and tie them back to the general theme but sometimes nonsense slips in.

I'm flawed.

I'm human.

My brain tries to fight me on the daily so I appreciate anyone who sticks around and continues to read so very much.

Moving on;

Back to the topic at hand.

The proposed question on the table...

Can I become just as successful in this career choice as a I would if I were to enter into the sex work industry?

As you all know by now, my main photo promoting this blog is, me in the bathtub with a laptop in front of me on a stack of D&D books and a popcorn tin, with my husband’s loofa in the background, a towel on the floor because there are no towel holder near the actual shower... make it make sense; as well as a .50 Christmas cup I'm using in the middle of February, because I ALWAYS need a drink... or 2... or 3 around at all times, especially when I'm in the creative zone. And the real kicker for me, the true mess that envelopes the messy hippie... a single, plastic, clear shower curtain liner with no actual, nice, aesthetically clean, attractive and personality filled shower curtain.

Those are the things I see.

Those are the things that draw my attention in the photo.

Not me.

Not the boring, cheap but sturdy old laptop my husband let me use to write because I needed a more old-school interface.

Or my ridiculously messy hair.

Not my lack of makeup or the tendon I am self conscious of, protruding from my neck when I smile really excitedly.

Not the fact that I'm naked... in the bath... where I'd assume 100% of people would be naked in...

I do SEE them, because I have well enough vision with my contacts in or glasses on, but they aren't my focal point.

You see nothing of my body besides my shoulders ever so slightly, my biceps (those arm bumps are hard to miss I know), my elbows, maybe a tiny bit of one armpit and a portion of my chest. A portion that is more covered by my laptop than it would be by even a swimsuit on the beach or at the pool, or even at the indoor water park we take our kids to every year...

But that seems to be the focal point of some.

This is not a dig at anyone.

This is not to shame anyone.

This is not to express anger, frustration or disappointment in anyone.

It is simply to hold a mirror up to ourselves and truly see the impact our words have on others.

Since posting that photo, I have received 2 messages about it.

Both from women.

The immediate assumption, even if it wasn't clearly stated, in my opinion, is quite obvious, took me back and a bit by surprise.

Especially coming from 2 woman.

Now I will be honest and say I did pause and question my husband on if it were appropriate to even post before doing so. He had a bit of a gut reaction of "No, people are going to assume things." Then empowered me to post it anyway.

It's MY photo.

MY face.

MY BODY.

MY story.

 So, I was aware there could be backlash and still proceeded.

I like to think of me posting that as sort of a social experiment.

The feedback was interesting and eye opening.

So far, I've only received 2 reactions to it, which was shocking there weren't more, but I was also taken a back by WHO they were from.

Women.

Women my age.

Women I've known since a teen.

These are the responses I received without any identifying information to protect privacy. It's not meant to hurt or shame. Only adjust the mirror slightly to see things from a different perspective.

From the perspective of the person receiving the information.

1st response-

"I'm a little nervous, are you naked?"

2nd persons response-

"Girl, you are not making naked videos are you, lmao!!!"

(That is a direct quote with only 2 commas added for my own brains sake.)

Those were the responses to a photo of me with a laptop cover 95% of my body and the parts showing are less scandalous than existing on a beach in my swimsuit.

I "assured" them both, it was not a sex work site or path I was taking.

It was a creative photo showing not only my writing process, 70% of it is in the bath, but also to represent in a creative and visual way how stripped down and raw I plan to be.

My response back to the 2nd question had a bit more behind it because... why.

Why was that her immediate assumption?

Anyone can go look at that photo any time and let me know I'm missing something because all I see is a dope ass photo of a hot mess woman trying to chase her dreams in the most authentic to herself way possible.

Why would anyone’s brain automatically assume sex work?

But there is more to this;

Now, I need to caveat this as well; I am a huge supporter, advocate and all around envious of those in the sex work industry;

As Big Freedia says in BDE-

"SHE did that! SHE did that!

SHE can make that; SHE can make that ass clap.

Throw that ass back, throw that ass back.

SHE can make that ass clap; SHE can make that ass clap.

BDE, betcha wanna be me (x4)

Betcha wanna, betcha wanna, betcha wanna a BD."

Those of you in that field are inspirations.

To know your strengths and to use what you naturally have to offer to support yourself as well as your family, deserves nothing but the utmost respect and admiration.

Sex work is the oldest, and in my opinion, most genius way to ensure your family is taken care of in a society that places insurmountable value on the female body as something to be revered and ogled by men.

There should be zero stigma or shame attached to it.

SHOULD be is the key word here though.

We aren't there yet.

We still live in a society that judges, condemns, humiliates and belittles those in the sex work industry.

I support you. You have value. You are important. Your work is important and valuable.

Your body is not an object, it is a tool that you are using to your advantage in the smartest way possible.

Now, to continue on with the point;

But not only to assume it's sex work, to not even ASK if that's the direction I'm going in and to have it come off as an accusation.

Like if that were my intention, it is something to be shameful of, when it is NEVER something to be ashamed of.

It got me thinking about how many other women, who actually are entering that field and need to put themselves out there to grow their audience, are receiving the same sort of feedback.

The same sort of negative assumption.

The automatic clutching of pearls at the mere idea that someone would be taking that path in life.

Let me throw it back on you.

The literal audacity to message someone that accusatory question, when the message you received from them... in response to the question "what are you and your husband going to be doing?" (Career wise, I mentioned we were working together previously... I meant, we were both doing gig work like Spark), was a single link to my new website.

That's it. And now that I'm looking back at the actual message there was no photo mentioned or even posted in the message thread. It went like this;

January 6th, 2025, "What are you and 'Shermbot' doing?" (This was in reference to a personal post I made about career changes)

I did not respond immediately because, life, work, husband, kids, etc. but also, I wasn't really sure the exact path we were taking. We each have way too many ideas so trying to narrow down what is feasible, doesn't require a ton of money up front, could actually be a career path to financially support our family, is something we both enjoy doing and we both have strengths and weaknesses in.

Narrowing that down took a while so I just kept all of my ideas within until I had something I was proud to show off.

On February 14th, 2025, I had something I was proud of.

Something I made, I created.

From scratch.

They were MY OWN WORDS.

It was special.

To then have that sort of response was humbling and took the wind out of my sail a bit.

It is now March 10, 2025, and clearly the wind is back in my sails.

This is my 10th blog.

One I started right after I first launched this site.

I'm finally getting back to it and finishing it up to round out the first 10 blogs on my site!

So again, back to the question at hand, can I make this my career?

To support my family.

Could I possibly make just as much doing this, using my own words as I would if I were actually showing off my body?

If not, feet pics anyone?

Size 5/6 shoe, tattoos and I've gotten many a compliment on them...

Bueller?

Again, all the respect to those in the sex work industry, I wish I had the same courage as y'all.

For now, I'll keep working at making this, my work, my words, my writing, my career path.

Manifestation time?

I will be established Author with my own book, with MY NAME, MY photo and MY words.

One day.

One day at a time.

One blog at a time.

One word at a time.

Will this brain take me farther than my body potentially would?

Stay tuned to find out. 

-The Messy Hippie 🌈✌🏻